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The five mistakes that will ruin the bar/bat mitzvah party
October 31, 2012 | Jewish Tribune
Lily Perry-Walter
Boredom The bar/bat mitzvah party formula hasn’t changed in 50 years. People eat, they dance, and the kids play games with the DJ. Anything fun you can do to break up the routine will seem genius. Having activities going on in different parts of the room so people have places to go and reasons to keep mingling throughout the party is a nice idea.
Mood Killers The bar/bat mitzvah is famous for the biggest mood-killer ever – the candle lighting. There are certainly a handful of people out there who haven’t already sat through 30 of these and who still find them charming, but most guests are bored out of their minds. A caterer invented candle lightings to buy more time in the kitchen. They have no ritual significance. Instead, say special words to those few special people, but also find a way to publicly honor everyone at your party.
Too Long Far better to have a fantastic 3-hour party that leaves them wanting more than a 5-hour party that has them begging for mercy. The length of the party is largely determined by the pacing of the meal. Be sure to let your caterer and DJ know how you want it to roll out.
Too Generic In junior high, kids have a bar or bat mitzvah every weekend. Sometimes two. Be unique to make your party stand out. The dread you feel that you’ve been to this party before happens when families don’t put enough of themselves into the party to make it uniquely their own. You can do better than that.
Allowing Family Battles to Ruin the Day This can start as early as the wording of the invitations between bitterly separated parents. For your child’s sake, set it aside for one day. We can’t fix everything we don’t love about our lives, but we can create one perfect day where the child doesn’t have to think about it.
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