Before we were Urban Frum
October 31, 2012 | Jewish Tribune
Abby Feferman and Jody Fegelman
Ah, Bat Mitzvahs…that wonderful Jewish tradition where a 12-year-old kid becomes an adult... not yet a girl, not yet a woman; and their family celebrates by showcasing their collective lack of rhythm for the rest of the world to see. Your 12-year-old self feels pretty and awkward all at the same time. Let’s meet Urban Frum before they were UF… .
I love a good Broadway musical. I always have. So much so that I made ‘musicals’ the theme of my bat-mitzvah. My colour scheme was rainbow. I didn’t realize the ironic pairing... What screams out at me the most about my bat-mitzvah self is how true she was to herself. She wasn’t trying to be anyone else. Her interests were not those of your typical girl in grade 7, yet she was so unselfconscious that it never occurred to her to care. There is a lesson here. Whenever possible, tap into that younger version of you that lived life openly and honestly. Be the real and authentic you.
Being UF means living an honest life. Our truest selves come out when we live without pretense.
Ice cream cake is a family tradition but my parents, with the kind help of Baskin Robbins, stepped it up for the bat mitzvah. I had an ice cream cake in the shape of a Star of David. Each corner was a different flavor –vanilla, mint chocolate, Jamoca Almond Fudge – and the centre was Chocolate Mousse Royale. It was the size of the DJ booth. It was huge! It took 4 grown men to carry it in. It was awesome. I wish I could say something more profound. I wish I could say that I was as true to myself as Abby was at age 12. Look at the photo. Damn girl, I’m in a full length, puff sleeve, burgundy velvet Laura Ashley dress.
Living UF is listening to your mother even though you know you look like a pilgrim.
Urban Frum: We wear fedoras and patterned tights. We watch reality TV. We bensch on our iPhones. We drink beer. We love Hashem.
Abby Feferman and Jody Fegelman are www.urbanfrum.com