When first taken into care, Haber says now, “I thought it would be kind of like a sleepover, except everyday…. After a few months, I realized this could be for awhile.”

Haber’s biological mother was 18 when she had her, and soon after, her younger brother and sister.

“It was really hard for her,” said Haber. “When you’re 18, your life is just supposed to be starting.”

“Being in foster care made things a lot easier,” said Haber.  “Foster parents are experienced professionals who know what they’re doing.  All you have to do is continue living your life and do the best you can with what you have.”

Today, at the age of 19, Haber is doing well and sees both her foster and biological parents regularly.  

According to Randee Pollock, Jewish Child and Family Services (JCFS) foster care and adoption coordinator, increased public awareness about foster care is needed. As well, she said, “We need to dispel the myth that Jewish homes are immune to social problems. We have the same stresses and social problems as anyone.

“Opening your home to foster children is the highest form of tzedakah,” said Pollock.  “You’re welcoming children into your family who might not otherwise have a safe place to live; helping them to reach their full potential.”

From the point of interested foster parents inquiring, Pollock speaks to them briefly, and then the parents attend orientation with Winnipeg Child and Family. If, after the orientation, they still want to proceed, JCFS conducts record checks and home studies (taking four to six months). If all goes well, a child will be placed in the home.  

Anyone can become a foster parent, as long as they are found to be suitable, have good parenting skills and their homes can sufficiently accommodate children.  

Currently, JCFS has 19 children in foster care, but only five licensed homes, with the need for more homes steadily rising.  

Then there’s the question of adoption.

Gayle Waxman, Rady JCC executive director, said she has always felt that parenthood and adoption would play a role in her life.

“People come to adoption through different routes,” said Waxman.  “What matters in the end is that a child and parent/parents are united.”  

Applying for a Division 1 adoption (adoption of a child in care who is a permanent ward) can be a lengthy process. The first step is orientation. Next, the agency conducts reference checks, and, if this goes well, a home study (usually from 4 to 6 visits) is conducted.  

Once approved for adoption, an individual or couple is registered on the Central Adoption Registry (CAR) and gets put on a waiting list.  

For Division 2 (private) and Division 3 (international) adoption, the process is similar but there may be a shorter wait.  

During Waxman’s one-year wait for adoption approval, she read everything she could find on adoption, studied Mandarin, learned about China, and formed a network of adoption families.  

“Being single, my options were a little more limited,” said Waxman. “I was very open to any country. China had introduced quotas for single parents, and the program was full. Then one day, I got a call from the agency telling me a space had opened up in the China program. I was the only person with an approved home study. It was bashert (fate).”

Waxman was soon connected with her daughter Alex. She said, “Today, Alex is a bright, energetic, happy 6 year old.”    

What Waxman has found to be very important is “finding connections with the birth country of your child. Alex and I are proud to be a Jewish-Chinese family, celebrating Jewish and Chinese holidays, and integrating both cultures into our lives.”  

Alex attends Gray Academy of Jewish Education, and she and Waxman both study Mandarin.    

Asked whether she would do it all again, Waxman replied, “In a heartbeat!

“Whether it’s your first child or third child, whether you’re single or married, all you need is a strong parental desire and an open heart. Adoption is simply one way to enter a family.  The experience of parenting and its joys are the same, regardless of how your family is made.”   

Currently, the adoption and foster care system is working towards creating a foster-to-adopt model (“concurrent planning”), where foster parents can work closely with birth families to facilitate the child’s return home or to adopt the child (if it’s determined that the child cannot be reunited with his/her birth parents).